No Nolita

I guess I’m partly to blame for expecting a lot.  First, you have the same people who brought you Borough, which I liked a lot.  Second, it’s fucking New York pizza!  It’s supposed to be the love child of American portions and the pomodoro sauce of New York’s Italian cuisine and it’s usually pretty awesome.

First, we have the Lemonade, which took forever to come out¹ and was pretty fucking expensive.  We make a better lemonade at home and it doesn’t cost almost as much as a slice of pizza.

Speaking of pizza, I’ve been warned about poorly heated ones, and damn it, they were right!  I had a slice of Spicy Italian Sausage pizza and you could really taste that this was a second-class pizza.  It could’ve used another minute (or two or three) inside the oven because they cheese hasn’t melted properly.  The pizza wasn’t very good anyway.  It wasn’t my first choice, but it was kind of confusing looking at the display of what’s available and what’s actually available².

The Bowl of Chili looked very interesting at first glance, but too bad I took a second.  Wasn’t much flavor to it, much less any heat.  I’d stay away.

It takes a lot for me to say that the most vegetarian of dishes actually turned out the best of the bunch.  Hell, you’re either really good at cooking those babies or you’d have to be really bad with your meat dishes.  I’d say it was a bit of both.

The Grilled Chicken and Broccoli was quite good even with the dreaded broccoli.  It was swimming in butter because, like bacon, butter makes everything better.  They come with fried potato chips.

The dish I actually enjoyed the most was the Beer-battered Onion Rings — with a drop of Sriracha.  It was crunchy, juicy, (the good kind of) oily, and just really solid.   I’d get this instead of the lemonade.

An appetizer and vegetable as the best dish?  Yeah, I don’t know how the fuck that happened, too.

We also gave the Cannoli a shot because you always “Leave the gun and take the cannoli,” right³?  It was OK, but not exactly feeling it given the hype.  The ricotta cheese was a bit too pungent for my taste and there was just something off with the orange zest.  And yeah, it was pretty expensive at 100 bucks for one piece.

I said I’d leave the burger to another visit.  It’s probably the same as Borough, but it’s a lot cheaper.  Suffice to say, I’ve never been back.  If I wanted mediocre pizza, I won’t drive all the way to Fort.  I’ll just sit my ass on the couch and call Pizza Hut⁴.