Ikkoryu Fukuoka Ramen: The Worst Ramen in Manila

Not so long after declaring some place the best of something with my last review, I did get some hate mail from people who thought I was insane.  Or an idiot.  Not that they would be wrong.  I figure, no better time to rattle more cages and receive death threats instead of hate mail by doing the opposite: declaring the worst.

The thing is, I was very surprised how much I hated this place.  First of all, there’s always a queue for this place.  Second, I have friends who actually like this place and was recently declared one of the top 10 ramen joints in Manila *koffbullshitkoff*.  Now, I’m not hating on Ikkoryu because I’m a hater¹.  Instead, I’ll tell you why Ikkoryu has to be the worst ramen experience I’ve had.

By using “Fukuoka” in its name, it’s pretty clear that the ramen served here is tonkotsu (pork bone) base.  What isn’t widely known is that ramen can (and is usually) made up of two bases.  Some use pork and chicken, or fish, or miso, or some other ingredient only the Japanese use.  Fukuoka is the birth place of the tonkotsu ramen.  That much is clear.

Forget the grammatical errors on the menu for a second, the first bowl you will see is the Yuzu-Tama Tonkotsu Ramen.  Yuzukosyo is supposedly a spice in the Kyushu region, mixed with tonkotsu base.  Honestly, doesn’t really stand out in any way.

The second is the AKA Tonkotsu, which they say is for light eaters who have high demands of flavor.

Not exactly sure what they meant by “light” — but the bowl isn’t any smaller than any other item on the menu and was the most flavorful of the 3 we ordered.  The red chili paste gives this ramen a bit of heat, which salvaged the meal a bit.

I did get the Black Garlic Tonkotsu, which is the most well-received bowl based on online paid advertisements comments.  First of all, zero hint of the Special Roast Garlic Oil.  Second, I think they meant oil because it was oily as hell².  Third, there was only 1 small piece of chasu.  Seriously, I know I’m stick thin but, Jesus Christ, this was the only bowl of ramen that I’ve had that had only one.small.piece.

The absolute worst part is the quality of the noodles.  Listen, I’m a big noodle nut and I’m particularly snobbish about them.  I requested them to be al dente and extra hard, which they offer³.  Basically, it came out underdone and was the consistent complaint of all 3 bowls on the table.  Like one bite, you can feel the texture of the flour that they used.  If not for the P380 cost of the bowl, it was honestly the first time I did not want to finish my bowl.  As for sending it back, I’m seriously paranoid of the local, farm-to-table ingredient called spit.

The best part of the meal was actually the 6-piece Gyoza.  Nothing special, but at least it wasn’t terrible unlike the service.  Can’t I ask for a glass of water without a glare?

Apparently, I’m not the only Ikkoryu hater out there.  Most people hated the soup (for the same reasons I cited), but I really found the noodle fuck up unforgivable.  Listen, if you can’t cook noodles properly, why open up a noodle shop?

If you’re reading this and if you’re probably saying “Jesus Christ, this guy’s an ass.  And a snob.  And an idiot.” I mean why do I have to bash this place after 1 visit and 3 bowls of ramen?  Why don’t I visit this place one more time?  I have thought about this and let me ask you this: For about another P1,200 in meals, would you dare to?

I feel like more hate mail is coming my way.

Ikkoryu Fukuoka Ramen: The Worst Ramen in Manila 2014-06-25

ot so long after declaring some place the best of something with my last review, I did get some hate mail from people who thought I was insane.  Or an idiot.  Not that they would be wrong.  I figure, no better time to rattle more cages and receive death threats instead of hate mail by …